I am grateful for my identity

For some reason, my mind seems to commune with Heaven a little better if I am moving around. Of course, I still kneel at my bedside each day, but some of the stronger and more memorable connections have come through praying while puttering around the house.

The other day I was scrubbing the shower walls and bathtub. The soap scum was cowering and shaking knowing that I wouldn’t stop until every last hint was gone.bathtub

Chalk that one up to OCD.

Some of you may know, and some of you may not, but my mother died from breast cancer 23 years ago. The loss of a mother to a young 24 year-old, newly-wed son can only be understood by others who have experienced such a loss.

But that’s a story for another day.

While reaching up to get the corners of the marble in the shower I was in the middle of one of my daily conversations with my Father in Heaven.

As I do from time to time, I prayed that my mom knew that we love her and miss her. I prayed that she is happy. Continue reading I am grateful for my identity

Why should we smile through our trials?

Our son Nick sent us something that he has learned while in Peru. I’ve had a hard time getting it out of my mind.

Apparently there is a certain type of eagle that will generally live about 30 years. I don’t know if eagles more closely match dog years or human years, but I would think that as far as birds go, that is probably a pretty good run.eagles2

However, if the eagle somehow breaks its beak and claws off, it will grow new ones and live another 30 years.


My first thought was how could the eagles communicate with each other to snap off those appendages at year 29.75.

I don’t know the answer to that. I can’t imagine that there is a little spot behind the water cooler at Eagle Central where the secret is passed on from one to another.

So is it just dumb luck? Continue reading Why should we smile through our trials?

So we all know that I struggle. What now?

After our posting about wondering if it was in fact a good thing to struggle with same-sex attraction, there was a very sincere reply by someone who understood all too well what I was trying to express.

personinpainShe shared discouragement in the notion that we were adding our voice to that of other’s in saying that to be wired with same-sex attraction is wrong. She had been told again and again that if we are struggling with it, then we must, in some way, be deficient.

I am so grateful that she reached out and shared her feelings. She was very respectful and not hurling anger or judgment which, sadly, all too often results after attempts at dialogue. That behavior must stop.

Her mother also added to the conversation, sharing that this precious and loved daughter almost took her life as a result of this seemingly lose-lose situation. “I’m wired this way, but to be wired this way is a bad thing, but I can’t change being wired this way, so I must be a horrible person stuck in this never-ending loop.”

This creates the feeling that she is all alone. No one else could understand exactly how she feels. Continue reading So we all know that I struggle. What now?

That was courageous. How so?

When I was in grade school, my Dad was the bishop in our LDS ward for a time. There was a wonderful young woman in her late teens that had listened to the missionaries and felt the beginnings of a burning testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. She chose to be baptized.

Everyone was so excited. It was such happy news.

But not for her parents or her siblings.

Her family believed devoutly in the Catholic faith. They were truly Christian people; kind, compassionate, charitable. They were people that all of us would benefit from following their example.bicycle

I remember one Saturday afternoon watching this heart-broken mother pedal her bike up the long dirt lane to our home, carefully lean it against the house, and ring the doorbell.

She and my father talked for hours while I played, unaware of the significance of what was going on inside. I will always remember, though, watching them both come out of the house, my dad putting her bike in the back of his pickup truck, and opening the passenger door for her to get in. Continue reading That was courageous. How so?

Can it be a good thing to struggle with same-sex attraction?

While working in retail management, a thorn in the sides of all my managers was the company policy of selling the store credit card. This was when the country was realizing the danger of having too many cards and people were consolidating down to just a Visa or American Express.

This was frustrating for us because we knew our customers personally. We had worked to build friendships with them, which created repeat traffic as well as a better atmosphere in the stores. We worked hard to listen to them when they came in. The problem was that our customers were telling us to stop bothering them about the credit card.credit card

But the corporate office was telling us that we had to get our statistics up in the number of cards we sold each week.

The two were in direct conflict with each other. We could either treat our customers the way we felt was best, or we could follow company policy and continue to be very aggressive in credit signups.

I shared this major frustration with my boss, hoping for a compromise that would allow us to do as we felt best with our customers while still keeping the corporate office happy.

The response was simple. Continue reading Can it be a good thing to struggle with same-sex attraction?