Dissecting the difficulty of same-sex attraction

On November 13, 2014 I posted some musings about same-sex attraction. The conversation of same-sex marriage and homosexuality and bigotry and sin has continued to grow from what began as a whisper over backyard fences to fury-filled screams in the streets and in the courts.

Part way through that posting I shared that I could speak from a position of authority on the subject as I, too, am wired to find the same gender more appealing than the opposite. My goal was to show that there are people who can see and understand both sides.

megaphoneMaybe to turn down the volume on the din so that people could unplug their ears and listen.




I was actually surprised at the flurry of activity it generated. Not the actual topic of same-sex attraction, but the side point that I individually worked to overcome it every day.

It made me wonder: why was it a bigger deal for the viewers to read about my struggle than it was for me to actually share it?

I think it’s because all the way around, this is a big deal.

For some time Ann and I have wondered if it isn’t this particular movement, more than any other, that will indeed be the tipping point that tips our society over.scales

The liberals have gone from nudging us in the direction of moral ambiguity to outright shoving. The conservatives have gone from quietly shunning “those people” to piously declaring the eternal damnation that awaits them.

Wouldn’t it make sense that neither position is in line with those who profess to follow the Savior?

I would think that the Adversary laughs himself silly as we go from unraveling a few threads of common decency and kindness, to getting out the shears and slicing from every direction.

So, it sounds to me like it would be worth our time to do some dissecting of the difficulties surrounding same-sex attraction.

It’s going to take more than one conversation, so I think a series makes the most sense. In upcoming postings let’s try to open dialogues about the following:conversation

Why should we have the conversation about same-sex attraction in the first place? If I know I am right and you are wrong, is there really anything to discuss?  (December 15)

What does it really mean to be attracted to someone? As a society, why have we narrowed the options of action to be first and foremost sexual when we are drawn to someone? (December 18)

Do we damn ourselves (or others) to a life of doom and loneliness because of these real physical feelings? Why do we choose to identify ourselves sexually? Aren’t we so much more than that? (December 22)

How do we overcome what feels to be insurmountable same-sex wiring? Is there more than one way to overcome? (December 25)

togetherWe help alcoholics; why not those wanting to fight same-sex attraction? What has brought about the inconsistency of providing support groups and help for those in our society with many of the “brain wirings” that they want to overcome, but that in many states it is illegal to counsel youth on overcoming same-sex attraction? (December 29)

Why is the marriage debate such an emotional one? Are both sides of the argument talking about the same thing when they refer to marriage? (January 1)

choicesUltimately, everything is a choice, even sexuality. Why do we opt for the easier way out by saying “I really don’t have a choice?” (January 5)

There would certainly be other topics to discuss, but I think this may be a good place to get started. At the end of the day, there is no magic wand that can be waved to present a solution that makes everyone happy.

That would take away our responsibility to choose.

But maybe the most important point to remember is that there is a miraculous Hand ready to guide us as we do choose.

Jesus Christ

                                             (Source: LDS Media Library)


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