Thoughts on “My Husband’s Not Gay”

Ann and I have been following the show that has created a lot of buzz, driven primarily by controversy. This usually happens when new and different ideas are put out there for society to mull over. Some people will embrace, some will fight, and others will ignore.

I think it’s become pretty hard to ignore this one.

There were parts of the TV show that we really appreciated; there were parts that didn’t reflect at all the life that Ann and I have together. In fact, there were several behaviors depicted that, in my opinion, would not be appropriate in any marriage, regardless of who the spouses are.

Part of the miracle of mortality is that each of us has to forge ahead and take ownership of our individual paths.

Ann and I work very hard to make sure that our unique journey is entirely consistent with gospel teachings. Marriage is such a sacred and private gift. I would never want to do anything to demean our relationship. What a blessing it is that we are completely focused on each other, and then together look outwardly in the same direction.

I’m going to try to just simply state things as I see them:

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Why is the suicide rate so high among gay teens?

I spent time this afternoon reading articles and posts and watching a clip from Good Morning America.

You’ve gotta love the Internet.

The newspaper article and the GMA clip were about the upcoming TLC show “My Husband’s Not Gay.” My first reaction was one of frustration. But being tired and a little mentally wacky it quickly turned to anger.angry

I was angry at the suggestion that it was okay to flirt with a waiter in front of your wife (or even flirt with a waiter, for that matter).

I was angry at the derogatory, demeaning, slanderous statements posted about the wives of such men.

I was angry at the comments posted about how if you are gay, you’re gay. Otherwise, you are deluded.

I was angry at the blatant hypocrisy of not being accepting of someone walking a different path than what the gay community has mandated.

I was angry at the insistence that homosexuality is NOT a choice.

boxer2Not surprisingly, I spent the afternoon arguing with my imaginary friends, or rather, perceived enemies. After feeling like I had worked my way around to a great rebuttal to the argument, I sat down and began to type.

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Ultimately, everything is a choice, even sexuality.

This is part 7 of a 7-part series on same-sex attraction

For part 1, click here

For series summary, click here

When I was a kid I loved to visit my dad’s office at the university. He had things that seemed so high-tech to me at the time (all right, is there much that wouldn’t seem high-tech to a 4 year old?). Of course, it being the early 70s, high tech was a relative term.

In the corner was a HUGE slide rule that begged to be slid. My fingers loved the big buttons on the adding machine, even if it was turned off. The chalkboard was never complete without one of my small drawings in the corner.newton's cradle

But the thing that I always had to play with was his set of pendulums. There were five steel balls suspended from a black metal structure. If you pulled up the one on the end, and dropped it, then the one on the other end would go up just as high in reaction. If you did the first two, then the last two would respond in kind. If you did the first three, then the middle ball would join the last three and extend just as far the other way.

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Why is the marriage debate such an emotional one?

 This is part 6 of a 7-part series on same-sex attraction

For part 1, click here 

For series summary, click here 

At the end of 2013, on a Friday afternoon, Judge Robert Shelby ruled in Kitchen v. Herbert that barring same-sex marriage was unconstitutional in Utah.supreme-court

The timing was certainly interesting, to say the least. To presume that it was just a coincidence that it was too late in the day, and before a weekend, and during the holidays – all of which made it much more difficult for the opposing side to react to, would be naïve.

Continue reading Why is the marriage debate such an emotional one?