Overestimating our own integrity

Ann and I have been having a bit of a laugh at my expense these last few days.

I slipped in to the hospital for a cervical fusion at a couple of levels last Friday. Being Superman in my own mind, I was sure that within a few days I’d be chomping at the bit to be swinging my arms while I walked briskly to hurriedly heal in my recovery.superman

I’d give it until Monday until I needed to be up to speed again (I would imagine that in my case up to speed would be a relative term?).

Anything else simply would not work for me; just too inconvenient.

Hence, Ann’s laughter.

I was having a bit of a pity party last night while Ann cleaned the bathrooms (clearly my responsibility) after she had a long day at work.

To me it seemed unbearable to go the few weeks of crushed machismo to have Ann do some of the things that I had promised her I would always handle. It made me look like a big wuss (kind of ironic how I felt that was the cause of my wussiness and not the constant moaning…)

Thank Heaven for Ann. In her always wise and succinct manner, she responded to my constant whining.

After letting her reply sink in, I followed her down the hall to humbly acknowledge that she had again uttered the perfect choice of words to keep me on my leash:

dollar signWhether this works or not, we still have to pay for it.

There’s a good lesson in there, don’t you think?

One of our favorite shows recently had a powerful episode that had us texting back and forth for days. In a situation that threatened prison, and all outside supportors withdrew to save their own careers, a husband and wife looked to each other on how to proceed.

They immediately asserted that no matter what they would not, nor could not, lie about the issue or distort the facts to make themselves look innocent.

Even when it was obvious that the charges were being brought to serve another’s own political ambitions and not in the search for truth – you could certainly understand if they had decided to fight fire with fire, right?

Why be honest with the dishonest?scales

Why indeed.

In the end, they each chose to do the right thing; not what was right for them, not what could have been spun as the right thing, nor even what they chose to accept as right.

They simply did what WAS right BECAUSE it was right.

While fully knowing and accepting the consequences.

I thought of Ann’s clarifier of my own myopic view of wanting to do what seemed to me and my unique, personal situation to be right.

But I’m really not that unique.

Even if I thought I could somehow rationalize tweaking my perception of what was right to fit what I really wanted to be right, you know – right for ME – we’d still pay for it.

Regardless of what we choose to do with truth, the price always remains the same.

In overestimating my ability to heal at superhuman rates, I wondered if I had also overestimated my ability to accept truth as it is and not something tailor made for my specific needs and wants.

The truth is that there is simply pure truth.

whitewashToo often we try to whitewash that which we have drug through the gray areas, reassuring ourselves that it really is still white, clean, undiluted, and true.

Well, as true as something can be in today’s corrosive environment.

That may be good enough for MY truth or YOUR truth, but it’s not good enough for THE truth.

I guess integrity is choosing the real truth over what I would like the truth to be.

And not overestimating my current adeptness at following through with it.

Even when it makes me look like a wuss.

Integrity1(Media Source: AlexBatty.org)

 

 

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