Why do you feel that your pain is greater than mine?

To clarify, I’m not stating that I, Greg, have pain that is greater than yours.

I don’t.

But as I read a few things posted recently regarding actively living a homosexual lifestyle and apostasy, and crying out for others to show compassion, I wonder if there are those who feel that their pain is far greater than that of their neighbor.

Perhaps I can offer a more encompassing perspective, though certainly not unique, as one with mental illness and same-sex attraction.

discouraged3

It would be hard for anyone to argue with me when I say that I feel I am qualified to voice an opinion about same-sex attraction, as well as choosing between suicide and homicidal tendencies and making it to the end of the day with everyone alive and intact, and at the same time actively choosing each day NOT to act upon that which feels natural within – be it sexual or mental.

In many ways, my coping mechanisms for each are the same.

Continue reading Why do you feel that your pain is greater than mine?

Why do we choose to categorize simple clarification as significant change?

Saturday afternoon my sister and her wonderful daughter stopped by as I was slowly cleaning the garage. After hellos and hugs, she said something along the lines of “I’m interested to see what your blog will say about the announcement by the Church this week.”

It would seem that many, many people have had a lot to say on the matter.

As a general rule, I am skeptical when I hear bits of a story here and there when I haven’t had the time to investigate for myself.

So, I took the time to read the additions made to Handbook 1 of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and then to listen to the full explanation by Elder Christofferson and Brother Otterson.

temple3When I was done, I admit my reaction was “I don’t see anything different from before.”

In fact, a clear and thoughtful examination of the additional wording regarding same-sex attraction, same-sex marriage, and covenants was simply a reaffirmation of what had already been known before the sensationalized news story.

At least, a reaffirmation of what I had known before.

I know that it would be naïve to think, however, that there wouldn’t be hurt and angry feelings at the initial announcement.

Continue reading Why do we choose to categorize simple clarification as significant change?

Differentiating the distractions from the demons

SCAPEGOAT: a person or group made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place.

The truth is we all do it. Sometimes it is so painfully obvious and ludicrous. You know what I mean: as when a man shouts at his wife that “you made me do this” as he brutally beats her.

That had better not be any of us.

However, I think that in the majority of cases it is the very subtle scapegoating we do that can be the most dangerous.

I’ve realized recently that all of us can learn to be pretty good at it, which can make us pretty bad at everything else.

Being bipolar and mentally ill brings its own special level of spreading the blame.

glassesWith Nick home, I have the opportunity to see myself through his eyes. He and his mother walk cautiously through the house to not startle me into a heart attack. They make HUGE adjustments to their lives to accommodate me and the symptoms that are just a part of every day. In fact, I finally digested that they also watch closely what they say.

This last week, Nick said to his mother several times “Mom, you know you can’t say something like that to Dad, he’ll just obsess over it until he explodes.”

Ouch.

Long story short, I don’t want to be that guy.

Continue reading Differentiating the distractions from the demons

What do you KNOW?

I’ve asked myself that question quite often recently.

Of course, my first response is “not much.”

But, after a few minutes I realize that just isn’t true.

I know a lot.

And so do you.

Here’s the deal:

Continue reading What do you KNOW?