Zion isn’t stationary  – we take it with us

Have you ever had the experience where you walked into a crowded room full of strangers?

clouds2If you are like me, you felt self-conscious, out of place, and just wanted to turn around and leave.

No one likes to be a stranger among strangers.

Here’s a more important question:

Have you ever had the experience where you walked into a crowded room full of strangers, and immediately felt at home?

If your experience has been like mine, you felt calm as the person next to you reached out and took your hand, offered an introduction, and welcomed you in.

And you in turn welcomed them.

How can this be?

Continue reading Zion isn’t stationary  – we take it with us

We’ve made it through the forest, only to find that there are still lots of trees

One of the little surprises this holiday season was a framed quote that many of you have already seen:

My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity. I replied, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.” 

After the initial chuckle, taking time to ponder just what this statement can mean still brings a smile to my face.

But probably without the laughter.

A few weekends before Alex was scheduled to arrive home, Ann and I thought that I should call Monday morning and see if I could get an emergent appointment with the doctor in Salt Lake. The combination of mental illness symptoms and medication side effects felt just out of my reach of control.

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I have learned how to control my outward actions and responses to the mental inward implosions. The feelings of slowing slipping into insanity, the screaming inside at being locked in an unreal prison that is more restricting than any cell made of iron bars, and the overwhelming physical exhaustion can be tamed and kept within.

I actually think I’m pretty nice and easy going overall.

But we had hit that point where I didn’t think I could last until our next appointment after the first of the year.

Continue reading We’ve made it through the forest, only to find that there are still lots of trees