To the bully

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

However, today I write to a young woman who feels safely distanced enough through Internet anonymity to mindlessly type words to one such as Lily and then hit send.

textingI’m tempted to not dignify her with a name, but that always gives more power to the deceiver. It’s important that we put both a name and a face with the painful text. After all, someone who really knows who they are would never hide behind secrecy.

Let’s call her Ashley.

Ashley,

I know what you’ve been doing to Lily.

I see you shrug your shoulders and say “it was all a joke, it really isn’t that big of a deal – besides everyone was doing it.”

My first instinct is to grab you and shake you so hard that your teeth rattle and then scream “What is wrong with you?”

Okay, it would also be my second.

And my third.

It is NOT a joke.

It really IS a big deal.

Fist beating into Water, vertical, splash

And right now, I’m dealing with you – you can’t hide anymore behind this nameless group called “everybody.”

So, I’ll punch the wall, pace for a few hours, and take some calming breaths.

And quietly ask again:

“What is wrong with you?”

Continue reading To the bully

To the teen who is bullied

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

Wet paint thrown onto white paper.

Today I write to a young woman who faces shameless cruelty each day. The torture she endures shakes the very foundation of her individual worth – a worth of value beyond imagination but denigrated into dust that disappears in the violent winds surrounding her.

Let’s call her Lily.

Dear Lily,

The very, very, very first thing I want you to read is this:

YOU ARE VITALLY IMPORTANT. YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR. I AM SO DEEPLY SORRY THAT THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU. YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DESERVE THIS VINDICTIVE VENOM.

I’m going to repeat that last part: You absolutely do NOT deserve this vile bullying.

Continue reading To the teen who is bullied

To the friends and family of the adult attracted to the same sex

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

Today I write to the friends and family of a man I call Jack who is attracted to the same sex. Well-meaning though they may be, they probably don’t understand how much pain they can cause.

hand shake

 

It’s time to stop it.

And replace it with what Jack does need.

 

Dear Jack’s friends and family,

You know Jack: hard working, good looking, always ready to help you out.

And lonely.

My guess is that you sincerely want to help, and offer encouragement as often as possible.

You just need to be careful that your encouragement isn’t discouraging.

Continue reading To the friends and family of the adult attracted to the same sex

To the adult who is attracted to the same sex  

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

lonleyToday I write to a man well into his life and his career and fully capable of making his own choices – and who is growing weary of the loneliness his choice to master same-sex attraction may have brought him.

Let’s call him Jack.

Dear Jack,

Here we are – charter members of the Surviving SSA Club.

I suppose it has its benefits.

Right now I can’t think of any.

How about you?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Continue reading To the adult who is attracted to the same sex