I guess this letter is to me  

A couple of months ago I was working on a series of letters to those who were struggling with different issues and perhaps feeling lost.

Looks like I kind of got lost in the middle of it all.

Not sure it’s safe to say that I’ve been found, but I can definitely say that I’m actively looking.

P1270019And I’ll keep my eyes open this time.

You know, constant vigilance.

So, I’ll give it a whirl at taking my own advice:

Dear Greg,

Got a little too big for your britches, didn’t you? Cocky confidence about being able to be “normal” came back and bit you right in the back side of your trousers didn’t it.

That’s okay.

I still love you.

And believe in you.

I know, it’s just so enticing to feel that emotion of clarity, strength, soaring – actually just BEING alive.

In other words, our good old friend Mr. Mania.

It’s easy to forget that he is, at best, a short term comrade in arms. Before long, he turns around and uses your own gun on you.

With all that collateral damage on those you love most.

What you consider to be just “normal” behavior is still alarming and potentially painful to those around you.

It’s important to remember that there is a significant difference between your family patiently and lovingly tolerating your mental illness, and finding it nothing more than endearing eccentricities.

Your medication is as much, if not more, for their sanity as it is for yours.

As frustrating as it is to feel comatose and numb, the solution isn’t to seek the freedom of sensing invincibility from Mr. Mania –

It’s to hold firm to the quiet peace that comes from knowing your loved ones aren’t suffering any more than necessary from your traveling buddies bipolar depression and OCD.

Batty Family-11

And that, my friend, is truly what it means to feel.

So, cut yourself some slack. Don’t send your mind into a frenzied spin trying to make biweekly self-imposed posting deadlines.

Once a week is enough.

And if that is a bit too much, that’s okay.

Do what you can.

Isn’t that all you expect of all the “normal” people around you?

I look forward to reading your next batch of letters. In reality, everyone is suffering and feels lost in very personal and intimate areas of their lives.

looking out a window

While your words may not help them to be found, at least they can help others find the courage to actively keep looking.

You know, constant vigilance.

Greg

 

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