Category Archives: Owning your decisions

We choose hundreds of times each day; some choices are pretty routine while other decisions make a pretty big difference. The truth is that on the things that really matter, we have the power and the responsibility to choose our path. After, we grow as we stand up and work through the consequences of what we have chosen. If we can choose to enjoy the journey, then we may have just found the real secret to making decisions.

To the bully

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

However, today I write to a young woman who feels safely distanced enough through Internet anonymity to mindlessly type words to one such as Lily and then hit send.

textingI’m tempted to not dignify her with a name, but that always gives more power to the deceiver. It’s important that we put both a name and a face with the painful text. After all, someone who really knows who they are would never hide behind secrecy.

Let’s call her Ashley.

Ashley,

I know what you’ve been doing to Lily.

I see you shrug your shoulders and say “it was all a joke, it really isn’t that big of a deal – besides everyone was doing it.”

My first instinct is to grab you and shake you so hard that your teeth rattle and then scream “What is wrong with you?”

Okay, it would also be my second.

And my third.

It is NOT a joke.

It really IS a big deal.

Fist beating into Water, vertical, splash

And right now, I’m dealing with you – you can’t hide anymore behind this nameless group called “everybody.”

So, I’ll punch the wall, pace for a few hours, and take some calming breaths.

And quietly ask again:

“What is wrong with you?”

Continue reading To the bully

To the teenager attracted to the same sex

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

silhouette4

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

Today I write to a young man in pain because his inner yearnings contradict with his inner understandings.

Let’s call him Charlie.

Dear Charlie,  

Hi, my name is Greg and I’m pushing 50, if you can believe it. I can’t. I guess to someone your age that would make me ancient; my kids would probably agree. Of course, since I haven’t ever grown up, I don’t really feel that old myself.

I guess it’s all relative, isn’t it?

Relativity applies to so many things in life. Things that at one point are incredibly overwhelming can become, over time, something manageable.

And even enjoyable sometimes.

Let me explain:

Continue reading To the teenager attracted to the same sex

Have we asked what comes AFTER the anger?

There is a lot of anger out there.

Global, national, political, social, economic, sectarian.

Through years of hiding our heads in the sand and putting off for tomorrow that which we should sacrifice today, we’ve made a mess of a lot of things.

And, to coin a phrase, everyone’s mad as hell.

Understandable.

gunshotIt feels like we have at last arrived at that final straw that will break the camel’s back.

And the resultant wounded roar is much like the shot heard around the world.

So, now that the igniting shot has been fired, what comes next?

To me, it looks like we have two choices: scream more oxygen into the flames and let the inferno burn everyone it touches; or, build a forge.

Continue reading Have we asked what comes AFTER the anger?

Why do you feel that your pain is greater than mine?

To clarify, I’m not stating that I, Greg, have pain that is greater than yours.

I don’t.

But as I read a few things posted recently regarding actively living a homosexual lifestyle and apostasy, and crying out for others to show compassion, I wonder if there are those who feel that their pain is far greater than that of their neighbor.

Perhaps I can offer a more encompassing perspective, though certainly not unique, as one with mental illness and same-sex attraction.

discouraged3

It would be hard for anyone to argue with me when I say that I feel I am qualified to voice an opinion about same-sex attraction, as well as choosing between suicide and homicidal tendencies and making it to the end of the day with everyone alive and intact, and at the same time actively choosing each day NOT to act upon that which feels natural within – be it sexual or mental.

In many ways, my coping mechanisms for each are the same.

Continue reading Why do you feel that your pain is greater than mine?

Why do we choose to categorize simple clarification as significant change?

Saturday afternoon my sister and her wonderful daughter stopped by as I was slowly cleaning the garage. After hellos and hugs, she said something along the lines of “I’m interested to see what your blog will say about the announcement by the Church this week.”

It would seem that many, many people have had a lot to say on the matter.

As a general rule, I am skeptical when I hear bits of a story here and there when I haven’t had the time to investigate for myself.

So, I took the time to read the additions made to Handbook 1 of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and then to listen to the full explanation by Elder Christofferson and Brother Otterson.

temple3When I was done, I admit my reaction was “I don’t see anything different from before.”

In fact, a clear and thoughtful examination of the additional wording regarding same-sex attraction, same-sex marriage, and covenants was simply a reaffirmation of what had already been known before the sensationalized news story.

At least, a reaffirmation of what I had known before.

I know that it would be naïve to think, however, that there wouldn’t be hurt and angry feelings at the initial announcement.

Continue reading Why do we choose to categorize simple clarification as significant change?