Category Archives: Sailing through same-sex attraction

Finding that elusive point of peace between feeling devastated and alone while still not fully embracing a homosexual lifestyle.

To the friends and family of the adult attracted to the same sex

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

Today I write to the friends and family of a man I call Jack who is attracted to the same sex. Well-meaning though they may be, they probably don’t understand how much pain they can cause.

hand shake

 

It’s time to stop it.

And replace it with what Jack does need.

 

Dear Jack’s friends and family,

You know Jack: hard working, good looking, always ready to help you out.

And lonely.

My guess is that you sincerely want to help, and offer encouragement as often as possible.

You just need to be careful that your encouragement isn’t discouraging.

Continue reading To the friends and family of the adult attracted to the same sex

To the adult who is attracted to the same sex  

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

lonleyToday I write to a man well into his life and his career and fully capable of making his own choices – and who is growing weary of the loneliness his choice to master same-sex attraction may have brought him.

Let’s call him Jack.

Dear Jack,

Here we are – charter members of the Surviving SSA Club.

I suppose it has its benefits.

Right now I can’t think of any.

How about you?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Continue reading To the adult who is attracted to the same sex  

To the parents of a teen attracted to the same sex

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

Today I write to parents who are in pain because their child is in pain. Dealing constructively with same-sex attraction is uncharted territory and everyone is stumbling their way through.

Let’s call them Charlie’s Mom and Dad.

Dear Charlie’s Mom and Dad,

You are tired.

family7Changing diapers and teaching Charlie to not touch a hot stove seem like a long forgotten paradise compared to what you are navigating right now.

I know that your knees are bruised and bloody, not only from stumbling and falling through this uncharted journey, but also from hours spent in pleading prayer.

You can’t kiss Charlie’s hurt and make it better this time.

But then, you may not be sure you want to.

Ah, perhaps this is the place to begin.

Continue reading To the parents of a teen attracted to the same sex

To the teenager attracted to the same sex

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

silhouette4

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

Today I write to a young man in pain because his inner yearnings contradict with his inner understandings.

Let’s call him Charlie.

Dear Charlie,  

Hi, my name is Greg and I’m pushing 50, if you can believe it. I can’t. I guess to someone your age that would make me ancient; my kids would probably agree. Of course, since I haven’t ever grown up, I don’t really feel that old myself.

I guess it’s all relative, isn’t it?

Relativity applies to so many things in life. Things that at one point are incredibly overwhelming can become, over time, something manageable.

And even enjoyable sometimes.

Let me explain:

Continue reading To the teenager attracted to the same sex

Letters to those who may feel lost

Last May a distant cousin wasn’t able to cross back over that blurred line between what is real and what is not and became lost in suicide.

Since we shared the almost inexplicable symptoms of bipolar depression, I was able to partially insert myself into his shoes and understand just how hard the daily battle is.

Since I am a husband and father and son, I was able to partially insert myself into his family’s shoes and understand a small portion of just how much pain a tragedy such as this brings.

warriorIn response, I tried to speak for this bright and energetic and accomplished man I called Sam. I felt that Sam’s family deserved to understand a bit of what was going through his mind, and that Sam deserved to be seen not as a victim, but as one who had fought valiantly for as long as he could.

So I wrote a letter from Sam to all who may have known him, and were hurting.

That being said, I think it may be a good time to try to help those who feel like they are on opposing sides of some difficult issues. It’s important to understand that the supposed battle lines can in fact be brought into a loop which encircles everyone to be united in helping each other.

Continue reading Letters to those who may feel lost