Category Archives: Sailing through same-sex attraction

Finding that elusive point of peace between feeling devastated and alone while still not fully embracing a homosexual lifestyle.

One step forward, another one back – right?

Okay, here’s the deal:

Things have been tough lately.

You can empathize, right?

For a while now, I’ve really struggled with my self-imposed deadlines of getting out a blog posting each Monday and Thursday. It, like these kinds of things usually do, began to consume me and filled me with dread. If I didn’t have something ready for the next scheduled published thoughts, I became more and more weighed down of being overwhelmed by it all.despair

Crazy, right?

Well, actually yes.

That’s kind of the problem.

It’s just one of the reasons that holding down a steady job is out of my grasp right now. Of course, the whole bipolar thing doesn’t help, but that’s another discussion.

When Ann and I met with the doctor recently we decided that I’d stop writing for a while, as it was doing more harm than good.

I was almost giddy with relief.

One step forward, another one back.

Continue reading One step forward, another one back – right?

Is exercising faith a matter of being “all in”?

For almost two years now I’ve been sharing bits of our journey with you. I would imagine that some parts have made you roll your eyes and others have produced a spontaneous chuckle here and there.

My hope is that some of them have made you stop and think, even if for just a moment, and then ask yourself pertinent questions.

I like to refer to it as ponder and wonder.

One of my favorite ponder and wonder topics is faith. I know that it is the first principle of the gospel and that by 48 I should probably have it down by now, but we all know that I’m just a bit simplistic.

It takes me a while for it all to sink in.

Hence, the pondering and wondering.

jesus christ 4I have a firm testimony that whatever my Heavenly Father’s will and direction is for my life is ALWAYS better than what I could scrape together on my own. It always has been, and always will be.

Our Savior’s example in the Garden of Eden of submission to the will of His Father at a point when He would have the bitter cup pass has been one I have spent a lot of time trying to emulate.

At least in my own silly, mortal way.

Continue reading Is exercising faith a matter of being “all in”?

Why do you feel that your pain is greater than mine?

To clarify, I’m not stating that I, Greg, have pain that is greater than yours.

I don’t.

But as I read a few things posted recently regarding actively living a homosexual lifestyle and apostasy, and crying out for others to show compassion, I wonder if there are those who feel that their pain is far greater than that of their neighbor.

Perhaps I can offer a more encompassing perspective, though certainly not unique, as one with mental illness and same-sex attraction.

discouraged3

It would be hard for anyone to argue with me when I say that I feel I am qualified to voice an opinion about same-sex attraction, as well as choosing between suicide and homicidal tendencies and making it to the end of the day with everyone alive and intact, and at the same time actively choosing each day NOT to act upon that which feels natural within – be it sexual or mental.

In many ways, my coping mechanisms for each are the same.

Continue reading Why do you feel that your pain is greater than mine?

Why do we choose to categorize simple clarification as significant change?

Saturday afternoon my sister and her wonderful daughter stopped by as I was slowly cleaning the garage. After hellos and hugs, she said something along the lines of “I’m interested to see what your blog will say about the announcement by the Church this week.”

It would seem that many, many people have had a lot to say on the matter.

As a general rule, I am skeptical when I hear bits of a story here and there when I haven’t had the time to investigate for myself.

So, I took the time to read the additions made to Handbook 1 of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and then to listen to the full explanation by Elder Christofferson and Brother Otterson.

temple3When I was done, I admit my reaction was “I don’t see anything different from before.”

In fact, a clear and thoughtful examination of the additional wording regarding same-sex attraction, same-sex marriage, and covenants was simply a reaffirmation of what had already been known before the sensationalized news story.

At least, a reaffirmation of what I had known before.

I know that it would be naïve to think, however, that there wouldn’t be hurt and angry feelings at the initial announcement.

Continue reading Why do we choose to categorize simple clarification as significant change?

What do you KNOW?

I’ve asked myself that question quite often recently.

Of course, my first response is “not much.”

But, after a few minutes I realize that just isn’t true.

I know a lot.

And so do you.

Here’s the deal:

Continue reading What do you KNOW?