Tag Archives: home

Understanding that we can never really go back home

For the past few months or so Ann and I figured that our little family foursome has been just about as spread out across the globe as is physically possible.

Alex is in London for the summer and last weekend went to Paris for a quick visit, staring up at the Eifel tower and taking pictures of the Louvre. Nick was in Lima, Peru fighting his way through the thick air and loving everyone along the way.


And of course Ann and I are here in warm and cozy Hyde Park, holding down the fort at home.


It’s an unimaginable reality for this family that spent every evening together and lived for our weekend fun for what was, in fact, a lifetime.

Continue reading Understanding that we can never really go back home

“It is time to defend not so much human rights as human obligations” – Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn 

My constitutional rights.

We hear it often when people are demonstrating. They are angry that their rights have been abused or trampled on.

supreme-court   And they should be.

People who don’t fight for their rights tend to lose them.

But I did a little research to see just what those rights were. I found that there is a pretty extensive list of our constitutional rights.

But not all the rights that we hear people shouting “That’s my right!” were listed.  We’ve made some pretty liberal jumps in assuming what we actually do and do not have as a constitutional right.

On the same document of constitutional rights, I found it interesting that there was also a list of duties. These rights we keep shouting about don’t come alone; they are accompanied by responsibilities. Continue reading “It is time to defend not so much human rights as human obligations” – Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn 

How do we settle on that which we settle?

Have you ever settled for less than what you wanted, or expected, or thought you deserved?

I’m sincerely afraid that is exactly what Ann did when she consented to spend the rest of her life with me. I think she’d like her deposit back.

I, on the other hand, clearly got the best end of that deal. I have so much more than I deserve.

But I won’t give any of it back – for anything. She’s stuck with me.

We’ve talked with our kids about their future mates and what are things that would be non-negotiable in choosing “the one.” notebook2

What is, or was, on your list?

If I go back to my teenage years, I had a pretty definite picture in mind of what my future wife would be. I’m sure that dancing and loving fashion and a high powered job and being drop-dead gorgeous were on the list.

Well, I did get drop-dead gorgeous.

I guess the question is, did I settle? Continue reading How do we settle on that which we settle?

Lessons learned in the loony bin

This article is part 4 of a 5 part series.

For part 1, click here.

For series summary, click here.

I think the timing on trying to put together some words to express thoughts and feelings from lessons learned is pretty great. That doesn’t make it any easier to try to share, but the timing is good.


Ann and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this week. Over the past few months I have been experiencing an increase in the intensity of my love for her. I feel as if I could reach out and grab it as a tangible, real entity that surrounds us. I am humbled by the whole thing. To have the love of someone the quality of Ann Batty makes everything else seem kind of trivial.

But at the time that my love feels like it is exploding inside me, Ann is trying to work through a real fear of what she may come home and find at the end of a long work day. And this would be every day. After all, I was admitted to the psych ward for suicidal and harmful ideations. This isn’t something imagined or can be ignored. It has become a real part of our life that has to be addressed and conquered.

I really learned some important things during my stay in the nut house that will help us conquer. As I go through them to help us figure a way to relieve some of Ann’s concerns, there may be some things that could help you on your own journey to safety and security. Continue reading Lessons learned in the loony bin

There really are wonderful people under there

This article is part 2 of a 5 part series.

For part 1, click here.

For series summary, click here.

That first night I looked around and could only feel that I did NOT belong here with these other people. They seemed to be kind of a mess: not in control, dependent on medication, unhappy.

That wasn’t me.

Well, okay. I guess that I had kind of lost control. And I really did need the medication to keep me from doing some pretty horrible things. I loathe admitting, because I truly consider myself to be a very happy person, but I think I was unhappy.


I guess that was me.

It’s in my nature to watch people and get a read on them. Usually, I can tell relatively quickly some of the most important pieces of characteristics and behaviors to help me understand better where they are coming from.

So I watched.

And I learned. Continue reading There really are wonderful people under there