This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.
It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.
Today I write to parents who are in pain because their child is in pain. Dealing constructively with same-sex attraction is uncharted territory and everyone is stumbling their way through.
Let’s call them Charlie’s Mom and Dad.
Dear Charlie’s Mom and Dad,
You are tired.
Changing diapers and teaching Charlie to not touch a hot stove seem like a long forgotten paradise compared to what you are navigating right now.
I know that your knees are bruised and bloody, not only from stumbling and falling through this uncharted journey, but also from hours spent in pleading prayer.
You can’t kiss Charlie’s hurt and make it better this time.
But then, you may not be sure you want to.
Ah, perhaps this is the place to begin.
Continue reading To the parents of a teen attracted to the same sex
I read the response from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints about a petition from the Human Rights Campaign regarding same-sex attraction. There were of course the accompanying articles of people with differing points of view. The one I read was very well written and without animosity, which I appreciated.
However, it very logically went through point by point how hypocritical the Church was in its position. One of the responses to this opposing view was “I would hope that the Church will listen” which was followed by another response of “Maybe God should listen.”
You know me, it made me think.
Perhaps it is these two quick responses to an article that sum up what is really the issue here.
Continue reading But religion IS a choice, isn’t it?
The heart wants what the heart wants.
But what happens when we don’t want to want what our heart wants?
Ann and I watched a show a few nights ago that was set in the 1960s in England. Long story short, a young couple was about to go through the birth of their first child together. They had a good life and loved each other.
However, the young husband was arrested for indecency with another young man in a public restroom. He was given the choice of going to prison or taking hormone therapy to decrease his levels of testosterone.
His wife demanded that he take the therapy so that they could put this behind them and get on with their lives. He loved his wife and desired to be a good father. I may be naïve, but my impression was that he sincerely wanted to do what he felt was right and return to his place in his family.
But the only way he would be allowed to do so was to go through something that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. The side effects of the medication were their own prison sentence.
While discussing the show afterward, we again reiterated that for so long society has taken an all-or-nothing approach when it comes to homosexuality.
Continue reading Do I want what I want?
A good and genuine person recently expressed having feelings of wanting to return to the fellowship of the gospel, after having left years ago.
But just having the feelings to return isn’t like waving a magic wand and erasing all that had caused the rift in the first place. Her reasons for estrangement were based in love, not hate. That makes it a little harder to try and overcome, wouldn’t you think?
You see, in her past when a beloved family member had shared homosexual feelings and the need to pursue a corresponding lifestyle, the response was one of anger, and ostracism, and a severing of ties.
Watching people who faithfully attend church each Sunday turn so quickly on a loved one left a pretty bad taste her mouth.
Yet after all this time, she recognizes the honest feelings and yearnings in her own heart, drawing her back to the gospel of the Savior.
So, how does she reconcile what seems to be clearly conflicting messages of “love thy brother”?
As I thought about it, I would think that this is a scenario that has played out in many, many families.
Continue reading Could it really be okay to come back?
This is part 5 of a 7-part series on same-sex attraction
For part 1, click here
For series summary, click here
We’ve talked a lot in this series about, well, talking.
Taking same-sex attraction and homosexuality out of the shadows and bringing it into the light is HUGE.
So, what happens when people start to talk?
No, really. It’s actually possible that someone will hear.
If you are one who understands all too well same-sex attraction, speak up.
On the other hand, if you are one who doesn’t understand this whole same-sex wiring, what can you do?
Keep your mouth shut and listen.
Then listen some more.
Continue reading We help alcoholics; why not those wanting to fight same-sex attraction?