SCAPEGOAT: a person or group made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place.
The truth is we all do it. Sometimes it is so painfully obvious and ludicrous. You know what I mean: as when a man shouts at his wife that “you made me do this” as he brutally beats her.
That had better not be any of us.
However, I think that in the majority of cases it is the very subtle scapegoating we do that can be the most dangerous.
I’ve realized recently that all of us can learn to be pretty good at it, which can make us pretty bad at everything else.
Being bipolar and mentally ill brings its own special level of spreading the blame.
With Nick home, I have the opportunity to see myself through his eyes. He and his mother walk cautiously through the house to not startle me into a heart attack. They make HUGE adjustments to their lives to accommodate me and the symptoms that are just a part of every day. In fact, I finally digested that they also watch closely what they say.
This last week, Nick said to his mother several times “Mom, you know you can’t say something like that to Dad, he’ll just obsess over it until he explodes.”
Long story short, I don’t want to be that guy.