Tag Archives: lonely

To the bully

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

However, today I write to a young woman who feels safely distanced enough through Internet anonymity to mindlessly type words to one such as Lily and then hit send.

textingI’m tempted to not dignify her with a name, but that always gives more power to the deceiver. It’s important that we put both a name and a face with the painful text. After all, someone who really knows who they are would never hide behind secrecy.

Let’s call her Ashley.

Ashley,

I know what you’ve been doing to Lily.

I see you shrug your shoulders and say “it was all a joke, it really isn’t that big of a deal – besides everyone was doing it.”

My first instinct is to grab you and shake you so hard that your teeth rattle and then scream “What is wrong with you?”

Okay, it would also be my second.

And my third.

It is NOT a joke.

It really IS a big deal.

Fist beating into Water, vertical, splash

And right now, I’m dealing with you – you can’t hide anymore behind this nameless group called “everybody.”

So, I’ll punch the wall, pace for a few hours, and take some calming breaths.

And quietly ask again:

“What is wrong with you?”

Continue reading To the bully

To the adult who is attracted to the same sex  

This is part of a series of letters to those who may feel lost. Sometimes when we are down, discovering something in the mailbox is just the thing.

It reminds us that we aren’t as alone as we think.

lonleyToday I write to a man well into his life and his career and fully capable of making his own choices – and who is growing weary of the loneliness his choice to master same-sex attraction may have brought him.

Let’s call him Jack.

Dear Jack,

Here we are – charter members of the Surviving SSA Club.

I suppose it has its benefits.

Right now I can’t think of any.

How about you?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Continue reading To the adult who is attracted to the same sex  

Is this all there is?  

There is more to do than there are hours in the day.

It’s just a fact.

We’ve all had moments of when-will-I-cram-that-yoga-time (which more often than not ends up instead at the freezer door with a large spoon headed for the chocolate ice cream).

ice creamAnd as we close our eyes after leaning against the closed freezer door, we realize that waiting for us in just a few hours is the need to get up tomorrow and try to fit 30 hours into 24.

Right?

Ever stop and wonder: Is this all there is?

We think that if it is, we may as well just throw in the towel. There has to be more to life than this.

To help combat that heavy feeling and give us the energy to keep driving through the day we place benchmarks ahead of us, things that we are working towards, things that we will “get to” after the hard work of today – the reward for all the work.

Something that makes it all worth it.

An Alaskan cruise.

A promotion at work with a better office and benefits.

Losing 15 pounds, and not finding them again.

A visit to the Hair Club for Men to restore the curly blond locks of 30 years ago.

A nap.

Someday.

What if, however, today is all there is?

Continue reading Is this all there is?  

Being lonely vs. being alone

This is part 2 of a 4-part series on Simplifying the Semantics of Suicide

For part 1, click here

A friend posted a link to the story of Madison Holleran. It is an article about a young woman who committed suicide. I recommend the time to read it.

In digesting Madison’s story, you will see that she was smart, athletic, popular, in demand at several universities, and surrounded by family and friends who all cared deeply about her.

Madison was loved by so many.

But as near as I can tell, she did not feel she was loved by the one.

Let me explain:

Continue reading Being lonely vs. being alone