This is part 2 of a 4-part series on Simplifying the Semantics of Suicide
For part 1, click here
A friend posted a link to the story of Madison Holleran. It is an article about a young woman who committed suicide. I recommend the time to read it.
In digesting Madison’s story, you will see that she was smart, athletic, popular, in demand at several universities, and surrounded by family and friends who all cared deeply about her.
Madison was loved by so many.
But as near as I can tell, she did not feel she was loved by the one.
Let me explain:
Continue reading Being lonely vs. being alone
This is part 1 of a 4-part series on Simplifying the Semantics of Suicide.
A good friend commented about our posting regarding those the mentally ill have left behind a few days ago. She was genuinely concerned about daily interactions with people struggling, not only with mental illness, but with addictions and even issues that one may consider to be self-imposed.
Regardless of all the differences of the why we find ourselves stuck, the similarities of the how to get through deserve more focus.
Over time society has redefined and, perhaps, made judgments on those mired in suicide’s depths without truly understanding all the intricate components.
Ann and I have talked at length, and we have shared with our children, how our story may be different from that of so many others.
Why are we so happy in the midst of things that have devastated others? How have we made it work for us while others aren’t so fortunate? What created the safe haven where we can communicate so openly and honestly and vulnerably about our pain, and at the same time genuinely laughing about it?
Semantics are what people connote something to be, rather than what it really may be. We need to narrow that gap between what we think we know, and what we probably should know.
I readily acknowledge that I will stumble over this as I try to put words to the indescribable.
But I think it is worth trying anyway.
Continue reading Simplifying the Semantics of Suicide
A family member experienced the suicide of his son in the last few weeks. Sam was bright and energetic and accomplished.
And he was bipolar.
It made me think of all the loved ones left behind after such a devastating tragedy, trying to make sense of the insensible. Sometimes they wonder what was going through the mind of the mentally ill that would lead to such a drastic and irreversible action, yet feeling they may never know.
Maybe I can help bridge that chasm a bit with what has gone, and continues to go, through my mind.
I’ll try and speak up for Sam.
Continue reading To those the mentally ill have left behind…
I spent time this afternoon reading articles and posts and watching a clip from Good Morning America.
You’ve gotta love the Internet.
The newspaper article and the GMA clip were about the upcoming TLC show “My Husband’s Not Gay.” My first reaction was one of frustration. But being tired and a little mentally wacky it quickly turned to anger.
I was angry at the suggestion that it was okay to flirt with a waiter in front of your wife (or even flirt with a waiter, for that matter).
I was angry at the derogatory, demeaning, slanderous statements posted about the wives of such men.
I was angry at the comments posted about how if you are gay, you’re gay. Otherwise, you are deluded.
I was angry at the blatant hypocrisy of not being accepting of someone walking a different path than what the gay community has mandated.
I was angry at the insistence that homosexuality is NOT a choice.
Not surprisingly, I spent the afternoon arguing with my imaginary friends, or rather, perceived enemies. After feeling like I had worked my way around to a great rebuttal to the argument, I sat down and began to type.
Continue reading Why is the suicide rate so high among gay teens?
After our posting about wondering if it was in fact a good thing to struggle with same-sex attraction, there was a very sincere reply by someone who understood all too well what I was trying to express.
She shared discouragement in the notion that we were adding our voice to that of other’s in saying that to be wired with same-sex attraction is wrong. She had been told again and again that if we are struggling with it, then we must, in some way, be deficient.
I am so grateful that she reached out and shared her feelings. She was very respectful and not hurling anger or judgment which, sadly, all too often results after attempts at dialogue. That behavior must stop.
Her mother also added to the conversation, sharing that this precious and loved daughter almost took her life as a result of this seemingly lose-lose situation. “I’m wired this way, but to be wired this way is a bad thing, but I can’t change being wired this way, so I must be a horrible person stuck in this never-ending loop.”
This creates the feeling that she is all alone. No one else could understand exactly how she feels. Continue reading So we all know that I struggle. What now?